Denial
by MentalSeimei
Summary: Warning possible Yaoi..Ichigo and Renji have been living togetherwith Rukia And feelings start to develop, but Ichigo wont admit his feelings. In the end who will he choose Renji a true love or Orihime the lie he wants to beleive ichiXren, ichiXorih
1. Prolouge: Who, Who?

Hello people I decided to do a Bleach fanfic, I have always wanted too! lawl! Well here is the first chapter and I don't know If I will continue it... it depends on how many people want me too.

Well anyways here is your prolouge! Enjoy!

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_Rukia has been spending to much time with Renji these past couple of weeks, it really makes me wonder if she is my friend or a lover stealer. She knows, I fucking told her I liked him!_  
Ichigo thought as he ate breakfast that was left by his sister. It is an early Saturday morning, and the rest of the Kurosaki's are at the hospital working. He was left alone and decided to be lazy, so after breakfast he went into the living room in a sad mood, flopped on the couch and clicked the T.v on. _Oh Inuyasha is on!_ He watched the show but didn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to because of the haunting thought of Rukia stealing Renji away from him. Then again, Ichigo wasn't really sure if Renji could be his.

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"Stop being such a big baby you idiot! He likes you back so just go tell him you like him!" Rukia screamed as she punched Renji in his stomach making him groan in pain. He kneeled to the floor, he has been training hard with Rukia and talking to her about his and Ichigo's situation. _She is right, If I want to be with him I have to tell him. It all is so hard to do!_ He got up and Rukia kicked him, but instead of her foot making contact with him, he blocked it and punched her. She flew far back and hit the trunk of a tree. That was the first time he beat her in a long while. "You have improved Renji, I am done for today." She got up and brushed the wrinkles and bark out of her skirt. "I have plans with Orihime today so just go back to Ichigo's and hang out with him for a while."

"Okay Rukia, I'll go hang out with Ichigo today." They parted separate ways and that was that. Renji walked over to the Kurosaki home reciting over and over to himself a way to tell Ichigo his feelings._ Ichigo I, No. Hey Ichigo, no. Ichigo you know, no. Dammit! This is harder that I thought._ He walked and reached the home finally. He jumped up to the edge of the window to see if he was still asleep. He peered inside and saw Kon sleeping on the bed. He opened the window and walked in the oh so familiar room. Ichigo heard and felt Renji's presence in the house. He ran up the stairs quickly to see if it was his Renji.

He got to the wooden door of the room and felt Renji's presence only. _I am sure it's him and he is alone, What the hell do I say to him? _The strawberry teen stood there thinking of what to do, while Renji was standing in the room and felt the other shigami's presence beyond the barrier of that door. Renji walked to the door and opened it. As soon as he opened the door he and Ichigo felt the presence of a hallow. Instantly they both got into his soul reaper form, he and Renji ran out to find and fight the hallow.

"Hey, Kurosaki, I got it you can stay at your house." The red headed shigami told the strawberry. Ichigo felt insulted that Renji would say that, but come on, it's Renji.

"Screw you Renji. I am fighting this hallow too, whether you want me to or not!" He screamed at the other shigami. Renji just kept his mouth shut until they found the hallow. The hallow didn't even bother to talk about anything the usual ones would, instead, it shot poisoned vines from its fingertips and shot them at both shigami's. They got their blades ready and dodged the attacks the hallow sprung on them. Ichigo jumped high in the air and stabbed the hallow right in the middle of the forehead. Renji, jumped to the side and appeared to have a sad look on. The hallow disappeared right in front of them. "Ah, that was no fun, He was a weak hallow, oh well." And he trudged on quickly.

Renji stood there confused, then came back and ran after Ichigo. "Hey Kurosaki wait up!" Renji yelled after the strawberry. He did not respond he just kept going ignoring the other shigami that called out his name. _Dammit Renji, why do you do this to me?_ _I don't like you it is just a phase I am going through. I'll get through it, eventually._ Ichigo wants to believe that Renji likes him, but Renji and Rukia have been spending time with each other. A thought like that haunted his mind, that Rukia would still his Renji. I don't even know if Renji could ever be mine.

The red headed shigami chased Ichigo throughout town until they reached Ichigo's house. "Dammit... Kurosaki, why didn't you wait?" He yelled. Ichigo became furious.

"Why do I have to tell you?" Ichigo screamed. Renji stopped and looked a bit frightened. "Would you leave me alone!" He turned and started walking again.

"No, I can be here if I want to be, you are not going to stop me!" Renji walked right beside Ichigo. Not another words was spoken between them. They walked into Ichigo's house and noticed someone cooking in the kitchen "Hey Ichigo, I am making dinner. I'll call you when it's ready." Ichigo's younger sister told him.

" 'Kay." And walked upstairs to his room. Renji followed, he had nowhere else to go so why not just stay put with Ichigo? After all he couldn't help but stay with Ichigo, it felt like the right thing to do. Ichigo was the same but wanted to get a couple of things cleared before making unnecessary accusations. He sat down on his bed and Renji sat on the floor opposite of him in complete silence. "Why have you and Rukia been hanging around each other so much lately?"

Renji was taken aback by the shigami's sudden question. "Why should I tell you?" The red head responded.

"Because I have been noticing that you two keep leaving!" Ichigo felt bitter that Renji could be with Rukia. "If you two are together, just tell me now." Renji heard a hurt in Ichigo's voice. He was sure now that Ichigo liked him and was worried that him and Rukia were getting together.

"No we aren't together, I like someone else." Renji stared out the window. Ichigo watched him and felt tears rush to his eyes. _Great, now there is another person I have to compete with. Wait! What the hell am I saying? I can't like Renji. We both are guys. Ichigo already talked to Rukia and she told him 'You're just a confused teenager you need to decide between Renji and Orihime. Orihime likes you and you like her, but you also like Renji. Make a decision.' _Those words haunted his thoughts Make a decision. Easy for her to say, she doesn't love anyone. Ichigo caught himself feeling the tears pool within and got up.

"I am going to take a shower." He grabbed a towel and some pajamas and headed for the bathroom. _Great you idiot. Now he probably thinks you aren't interested! _Renji slapped his hand against head. _Fuck!_ He got up and put on some sweats he bought and changed. After he put Zambimaru beside the closet and went in. He shut the door and laid in the darkness. Listening to Ichigo sing Voodoo by Godsmack. Listening to the distant water spray from the nozzel, imagining Ichigo standing in the shower lathering his lean body with soap, smelling the strawberry shampoo, watching the foam drip down his frame. Renji fell asleep to the sound of Ichigo's shower.

After Ichigo had taken his shower he came out and walked down the hall to his room. He heard Renji snoring so that means aduh that Renji is sleeping. He entered the room quietly and laid down on his bed. "Ichigo dinner is ready!" He heard his younger sister yelled up to him. He got up and went downstairs to get some food. He came back up the stairs and rapped on the closet.

"Hey Renji, I have some food here, wake up." Renji woke up and came out. He sat down on Ichigo's bed and ate some of the ramen Ichigo brought up for him. Renji and Ichigo sat on Ichigo's bed and ate the spicy ramen. Renji didn't know how hungry he was until Ichigo came with food. After they ate Renji leaned against the wall and relaxed.

"Thanks, I was starving." He muttered to Ichigo. Ichigo looked at him and admired the tatoo's on Renji. He looked at the wall then turned and stole a glance from Ichigo. Ichigo turned and blushed. Renji saw and blushed too. "Ichigo," Renji started but then stopped.

Ichigo had a momentary relapse and thought for a second. Ichigo? he usually calls me Kurosaki. "What?" He asked to Renji. Renji didn't know what to do.

"Nothing." Then he got up and laid down in the closet. Once again he fell asleep to the sound of movements Ichigo made. Ichigo laid down and let some tears fall from his face. he cried himself to sleep.

_Falling down into the light. All I can see, a bright white light. Nothing else, no one else is there. he is all alone, and yet he hears his voice. 'Ichigo...' he calls out, and makes tears fall down his face. Again he called out the name hopefully 'Ichigo...' Again all he could say was 'Sorry.'_

_His feet finally found land and saw the figure stand right in front of him in nothing but the sweats he liked to wear. He stood straight and walked over to the figure, into his open arms. 'Ichigo..' He voiced into the teens ear. 'I love you Ichigo Kurosaki.' Ichigo felt tears roll down his face into the shigamis bare chest._

_'Renji, I-I' He found himself not able to say it. He wanted to gods know he did. Just when he opened his mouth nothing came out. Renji let go of the teen._

_'Goodbye Kurosaki.' He walked and never turned or did a double take, left Ichigo there alone. Those words filled his ears. 'Goodbye Kurosaki' repeated in his ears. Making the tears fall down his face nonstop. He felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest. Nothing was there anymore, suddenly his world turned into pitch black darkness. He fell into fetalpositon and dwelled within the darkness._

_Red hair, killer eyes_

_his voice is my disguise_

_until those words filled my head_

_he left me here, I be better off dead._

_He recited from his ripped out heart. 'Ichigo!'_

Ichigo woke up to hear Yuzu rap on the door screaming over and over again, "Wake up breakfast is ready!" He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and walked to the door.

"Okay Yuzu." And his Sunday went on as normal as it could get. Not one sign of movement could be heard or felt by Ichigo, Renji wasn't there. Ichigo fell silent, nothing was to say and let his Sunday roll on in sadness and Inuyasha and Fullmetal Alchemist anime shows.

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okay well, I think I will do a Ichigo and Ishida fanfic.. I love that couple plus ichiXrenji fic...

lawl... aww naruto hundo is not on until 6 tomorow.. D: lawl!


	2. Orihime Trouble

Here is the next chapter goodnight!!

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The next Monday morning rolled by and Ichigo still slept. Renji Still hasn't been back since Sunday morning. At 6:30 Yuzu rapped on the door as a morning routine yelling to Ichigo breakfast is ready. Ichigo continued to sleep and when Yuzu received No answer she let herself in and gently pushed him awake. "Ichigo wake up!" Ichigo stirred in his sleep, not even acknowledging Yuzu was trying to wake him up for school. She kept doing this until Karin noticed the trouble in Ichigo's room. She walked in as normal as possible and with a mighty kick kicked him awake. He immediately awoke in pain.

"Dammit!" Ichigo screamed. Karin and Yuzu just walked out not saying another word to Ichigo. "Damn Karin, that fucking hurt like hell!" He yelled after the two girls. But they walked down the hall to the staircase, not even hearing Ichigo and his consistent swearing.

"Something has been on Ichigo's mind, he hasn't been himself lately and I am getting worried." Yuzu said worriedly. She constant thing on her mind lately has been thinking what could be her beloved brothers problem could be.

"Stop worrying Yuzu, whatever Ichigo's problem is, he can handle it I am sure. He always has and will." Yuzu looked down and the realization hit her. Karin is right, Ichigo can handle it. He is a strong determined human, but if he sheds one tear I will step in and help him..

After the morning wake up routine, Ichigo got up without uttering another curse word or line got dressed and ready for school. He grabbed his backpack and and headed down the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast. By the time he arrived to the kitchen there was a bowel of cereal already poured and ready to eat. Also there was a bag lunch so he won't starve at school. He sat down and dug into the food and just thought random stuff. I wonder where Renji is, I hope he is okay. After his breakfast it was 7:15 and he heard Keigo, Chad and Mizuiro outside waiting for him to come with them to school. We picked up his backpack and slipped on his shoes and walked out the door to school with Chad, Keigo and Mizuiro.

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"Renji, where are you going?" Rukia called to Renji as she saw him walking away. Renji just kept walking, he seemed a though he didn't hear her and and walked straight on. Rukia is staring to get really pissed off. "Do not make me repeat myself Renji." She narrowed her eyes in anger. "Or you will be sorry." She called him once more, when he ignored her again she lost her temper. "I swear to fucking oblivion Renji, tell me at least why you are leaving!" Renji finally stopped walking and turned to her.

"I can't stay with Ichigo." Renji looked into Rukia's eyes and tears pooled within his own. "No matter how much I love him, he will never be with me." He looked down and Rukia walked to him. "Last night when I tried to tell him how I felt, he looked as though I was some disgusting pervert that just wanted to get into his damned pants!" Riku got to him and touched his shoulder. Her rage and anger to him was replace by sorrow.

"Renji if you run now and never tell him how you feel, you will regret it. Just go to him, at his school and tell him before it is too late." Renji looked up at her and sighed heavily. "I have been hanging with Orihime and she told me she was planning to ask Ichigo out."

"What?!" Renji exclaimed dropping his Zambimaru to the floor. "Then I must go now and catch him at lunch!" Renji started running to the school, not worrying about forgetting about Zambimaru, not caring that Rukia was calling after him he just wanted to get to Ichigo first. Dammit I hope I get there first!

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"Hey Ichigo, whats wrong?" Orihime came up to Ichigo and asked polite and flirty. Ichigo was out of his zone when she came up thinking about random thoughts that lingered in and out of the strawberry's head.

He snapped out of it. "Hey Orihime," he replied dismally. "Nothing is wrong I just have a lot on my mind." Then he turned his attention away. Orihime frowned for a second then went back to her usual optimistic self. She is determined to make Ichigo hers, though she knew Renji liked him. Orihime fixed her shirt to show a little more cleavage (which seems almost impossible!) and sat in front of him. She leaned in and lifted his chin to focus on her. He was caught by surprise from her sudden actions.

"Ichigo," She looked into his eyes and saw dullness but continued. "will you be my boyfriend?" Orihime used the last of her courage to ask a simple question. He looked into her eyes and saw nothing, felt absolutely nothing for her, but there is a feeling there that he should accept it. He prolonged his answer, thinking really hard about a decision that could possible determine his fate.

I hope he says yes!

Then as he opened his mouth to answer the bell rang to go to next class before school is out. "Meet me after school I will tell you then." Ichigo got up and walked to his next class. Orihime sat in her spot completely stunned. I expected him to jump up in happiness and talk about our future. Her eyebrows furrowed in anxiety about his to come answer.

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"Renji wait!" Rukia screamed chasing after Renji, but he didn't stop. Rukia had it with his stupidity and ignorance and flagged him down like a professional football player. Renji gasped when Rukia sat on him with all her weight and breathed heavily. "What... the... hell.. do you... think... your.. doing?" She stopped for a moment and caught her breath. "You... just... can't... run.. into... the classroom... let alone... the whole school.. unannounced.. or.. invited.. Wait until.. the.. school.. is... over."

Renji gasped for air while Rukia sat on his chest. He was pretty sure he was going to die of being squished and suffocated. He let her words sink into his brain. It would be senseless if he would have just ran straight into the classrooms let alone the school looking for Ichigo before Orihime could find him. "It would have been senseless to do that, I am sorry Rukia."

Rukia nodded and got off of him. She collapsed next to him and sat for a moment. Renji laid there and rested his muscles. They both sat in silence for a little while. Rukia sat and just waited for Renji to move. Renji laid down and stared on forever into the endless sky. He looked at the white clouds that seem to take the form of Ichigo's beautiful face.

"Ichigo..."

"Renji school is about to be let out, let's go." She stood over Renji blocking the resemblance of Ichigo. Renji sat up and let his eyes adjust to normal light before getting up fully. Rukia stood behind him holding his blade waiting for him like a friend would. Renji finally got up and Rukia sighed in relief. He wiped the dirt and wrinkles from his 'Human' clothes and started walking to Ichigo's school. I am coming strawberry.

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"Orihime..." Ichigo started saying to Orihime. She blushed in nervousness then sees Renji walk through the gates of the school. Renji looked around and spotted Orihime and Ichigo. Orihime panicked inside but completely calm and replied a simple 'mmhmm'. "I want to be your boyfriend."

Orihime jumped excitedly and hugged Ichigo. Renji saw and realized it was to late, Orihime got to him first. She let go of Ichigo as he offered to walk he home hand-in-hand. She grabbed his hand and rested her head on his shoulder like it was meant to be there. They turned to the gate to go home when Ichigo saw the sad strucken face of Renji.

"Renji!" Ichigo screamed happily like he had just seen someone he hasn't in years. Renji ran faster than he possibly could back the way he came from. Ichigo couldn't chase after him because Orihime clinged to his arm like a hungry leech. Renji was fully off the school grounds and kept running to a remote location where nobody is so he can go back to the soul society like he had planned. Rukia was waiting for Ichigo to come an tell her everything that happened. She also waited for Renji to follow him through the door, fingers intertwinding in love.

Ichigo put his head down, chin to his chest and sighed a sad sigh. Orihime kept her head resting on his shoulder with a huge grin spreading from ear to ear. I win! She nudged Ichigo as a sign to start walking. He figured it out and started walking with her to her house.

The walk seemed to drag on forever, with and anchor on his arm and cinder blocks on his face. "Okay here is where I live." Orihime took his hands and brought them to her face and gently kissed them. "Goodnight Ichigo, see you tomorrow." She went inside and Ichigo walked home to the Kurosaki clinic.

"Where is Renji Ichigo?" Rukia asked when Ichigo walked in without Renji behind him. Ichigo put his head down and sighed again another sad sigh. Rukia got it. "You choose Orihime huh?" Ichigo didn't say anything but from the looks of it to Rukia she took his silence as a yes and sighed to a depressed sigh.


	3. A Deathly Hollow?

_**Disclaimer:** I don't own bleach or any of the characters. I wish I did but oh well... : (_

_This chapter is deticated directly to Tara Kitaide for being a good sport and helping me a little with ideas. Thanks a lot: )_

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Renji walked through the familiar surrounding of the soul society. Tears trickled don his sad strucken face from the events that happened earlier. 'How could I be so stupid? I hurt myself by letting myself think he could actually have feelings for me too, that he loved me.' He tried and tried to hold back the tears, but failed. He fell to his knees on the ground. He'd finally lost it. "WHY ME? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?" 

"It's not what you did," A strange voice called from the shadows. "It's what you didn't do." A shadowy figure emerged from the shadows. The figure was grinning with crossed arms and he stood in front of the awestruck Renji.

"Hisagi..." Renji gasped with wide eyes. He had not expected anyone to be around at this time of night. "What... how much of that did you hear?"

"Ever since you entered the soul society." He walked up to Renji, kneeled and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Listen, I came to the living world to find you to see how it was going, then I saw you running and decided to follow you." He stood up. "Then when you stopped at a school I saw what happened."

"So," Renji interrupted "And your telling me this why?" He became a little nervous. Does he know? Fuck!

He rolled his eyes, "I know you like Ichigo and I know about the events that happened earlier. I am deeply sorry for you." He stood up. "Stay here for a while, clear your head and get your priorities straight, then when you are ready go get back or confront Ichigo about the problems." Renji stopped sulking and took a moment to think clearly.

"Yeah, okay." Renji stood up and started walking to his place. Hisagi turned and walked all the way back to his place where a bottle of sake was waiting for him. Renji stood up and wiped his cheek of tears and began his walk. Renji's footsteps silently echoed throughout the walkways of the quiet soul society. He marched through the twists and turns of the intricate walk ways until he stopped at a familiar door way and sighed. _'Well, I'm here.'_ and walked through the doorway. He stepped into his isolated sanctuary and saw a thin layer of dust on everything. He walked over to his bed and neatly place his zanpakuto on the wall right next to his bed.

He looked at the window seal and saw a picture of four familiar friend he had. He reached for the picture and looked at it. "Rukia, Hisagi, me, and..." His eyes lingered on one of the faces he adored. "Ichigo..." His eyes pooled again with tears. He stroked the face of betrayal, feeling hurt and weak from it all. _Ichigo, I will come back. Not now. I need time and let the wounds heal. But I'm not sure if when I do come back, it will to be with you._

Renji put down the picture face outward grabbed a towel from a stack of clothes and went to take a shower. He turned on the shower to hot and stepped in. He let the water fall down his perfect tanned body covered in sexy well placed tattoos. He moved his body in a stretching movement to relax his muscles. As the water ran down, it took with them his pain, his worries. But he even knew it wouldn't last long. No mater how many showers he took he knew it wouldn't take away full reality.

He stayed in there for a good 10 minutes before coming out. He dried himself off and wrapped the towel around his waist. He got out a robe and got ready to lay down on his thin bed. He fell asleep Not knowing, not wanting to know what the next day could bring him. He couldn't handle another day of heart break, another day of regrets and sorrow. I mean any person with a soul or feelings couldn't handle this pain, no matter how evil the being.

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Ichigo was awakened by Kon the next morning. "Ichigo Wake UP!" Kon sat on the strawberry's chest and pounded his fluffiness on Ichigo's face, which made him wake up in a hot-tempered mood. Not considering the fact that after Renji had caught Ichigo replying yes to Orihime's question.

"Shut it Kon!" He grabbed the plushie and threw him across the room and hit the closet with a loud thud. After he sat up stretched and awakened his muscles. Kon, still on the floor, was mumbling to himself and left the room. Ichigo heard a faint ruffly noise.

"ICHIGO," A loud manly voice yelled from seemingly nowhere. "GET UP OR YOU'LL BE LATE!" Then the next thing he knew, someone was about to attack him from the window. His first instinct to react was to dodge the kick. Ichigo then heard a crash then a slam. His father had missed and hurt himself.

"What are you doing?!" Ichigo screamed in surprise.

"AHA! Your defending skills are improving!" Ichigo's dad, Isshin, jumped up and acted like he wasn't hurt. "Your good, but not as good as your old man!" Then he jumped at Ichigo again. Ichigo dodged it and then he reversed the kick and threw his dad out. He got up and checked the closet to see if Rukia was there.

"Hey Ichigo!" He heard a familiar happy voice scream. "We're here, lets go!" He walked to the window and looked to the ground to greet them.

"Oh hey Mizuiro, Chad, Keigo, and..." He became nervous to see the fourth face. "And Orihime." She looked up at him and smiled and waved wildly. He nervously smiled back at her and waved. "Uh, I'll be down in a minute." He left the window, changed into his school uniform and ran down the stairs. He grabbed his bag and ran out the door to join the group to venture off to school.

As they all left to school Orihime linked her arm with Ichigo's and intertwined there fingers them walked off. They walked ahead of the rest to have a private talk that Ichigo wanted no part of. A couple minutes into the walk Orihime started talking to Ichigo, but his mind wandered off to have a war with his heart. _'I think we made a mistake being with Orihime.'_

'_Yes you did. Ichigo belongs with Renji and we know it, he shouldn't be with Orihime!' _His brain screamed.

'_But what would people think of him? That he is just a fruity person and dis him. He will be crushed!' _His brain argued.

'_Screw what they think! Renji is all he needs to be happy, and I am sure his dad, Yuzu, Karin and them all would accept him if they truly cared for him!'_

'_No, I wont let it happen! It's wrong and immoral!'_

"Hey Ichigo are you even listening to me?" Orihime stopped and glared daggers at him. He snapped out of it and was totally honest with her.

"No I wasn't sorry Orihime. I just have a lot to think about on my mind lately." Ichigo looked at her and still felt no emotion. There was no spark or connection he could make with her. And was the worst part of all this is, Orihime had a connection and spark when she was around him. It makes her furious that he almost chose Renji over her. But she didn't want him to know that.

"Oh, okay then never mind." She looked to the ground and started thinking, ignoring the conversation she wanted to have with him. _'Ichigo, do you even love me? I look into your eyes and you look in mine. When that happens can you feel anything? I do. Do you like Renji? Do you want to be with him?_' She looked up up at Ichigo and watched his face closely. He was in deep thought. She furrowed her brow. _'No! I will not let that happen! Ichigo is mine and I wont let that red-headed man whore steal Ichigo away from my grasp!'_

Before she and Ichigo knew it they had reached school. Ichigo went to hang out with his other friends, while Orihime went to hang out with Tatsuki and Michiru. Then they let the school day roll on as normal as they could be, but Ichigo still wanted to know where Renji was and how he is doing. Ichigo just had only one idea to where Renji may be.

'_The soul society.'_

_------------------------------------------_

_What is it about you I like?_

_could it be something I see?_

_I want to look directly into your heart_

_and link you to me._

_I don't know why I feel this way_

_I'm so _(1)_confuddled I can eat_

_but when I look at you_

_my heart skips a beat._

_Your arms are my protection _

_your heart is my sky_

_when I'm around you I am happy_

_and never felt like I had to cry._

_The kind words you speak to me_

_pierces my heart_

_until that fateful day_

_then tore me apart._

_What should I do?_

_stay here and cry_

_or face my problem_

_with my head held high?_

_Your feelings confuse me_

_and I can't decide my fate_

_I want you but you don't want me_

_and it's those lingering thoughts I hate._

_Please tell me what you want_

_what your heart desires_

_what you long for_

_the deep depths or burning fires._

Renji sat on the edge of his bed with his head held in place in his palms crying streams of tears. Thinking about his and Ichigo's situation. It has been haunting him for a while now. It has been 5 days since Renji left Ichigo and felt like crap every minute of everyday for it. He hasn't left his place or ate anything in days. He just stayed in his bed sulked and tried to figure out his problems that seem to have no answer.

"Renji!" Rukis busted in, "There you are I've been looking all over for you!" She walked in and gave him a hug. "Listen Renji, I know you're going through a hard time now, but don't let it interfere with our soul reaper duties." He looked at her and she was shocked at how red his eyes were.

"I'm sorry Rukia."

_beep, beep, beep_

Rukia's hallow alert went off. "Come on Renji lets go." He nodded and they both ran out to go fight the hallow.They get out of the soul society and get to the hollow before Ichigo. That was odd cause usually Ichigo is first to be there.

"Howl, Zambimaru!" Renji yelled waving his arm down the swords blade transforming it. He stood there and faced the wretched hollow and all it did was laugh.

"You can not defeat me alone little soul reaper! You're too weak and pathetic, but no matter your soul sure smells tasty!" After those last words were spoken the hollow glided fast towards Renji, Renji dodged it and slashed at the hollow. To his surprise the hollow dodged that too and struck him.

"FUCK!" He screamed in pain as red blood leaked from his body. The hollow giggled again and attacked once more and cut him again. 'I'm losing too much blood. My vision is going blurry.' He sank to his knees and tried to see. All he could see was a giant figure all of a sudden disintegrate in front of him and two little figures running after him.

"Renji!" He heard Rukia say. "No!"

"Renji! Please hold on!" He heard another familiar voice cry out to him. He felt himself being picked up and cradled by familiar hands and arms. It took the last of his strength to find the words to say and when he did he passed out.

"Ich.. Ichi-go."

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_(1) confuddled- In my language it means confused and depressed._

_Sorry it took so long for another chapter and You may hate me but sorry I couldn't resist a tragedy drama part._

_Tara: YOU CAN'T HURT ORIHIME YET! She will get hers eventually..._

_Reviews are sparkly!_


	4. Can You Forgive me?

To my readers and glompers,

I am sincerely sorry that I haven't updated on my story. On October 2, 2007 I was walking home from school and poking people, I ran across the street and got ran over by a blue truck. From then on I was in the ICU for 8 strainful days then progressed to Kaiser for 3 more freakin days. (ICU- Intensive Care Unit) I got a hole in my lung, 4 broken ribs, and a broken femur. I just got released from the forsaken hospital and now just planning on focusing on my fanfictions. I have the time now.

I am gonna be home schooled until January. That kinda sucks then I can't see my friends. Or go to any dances. Ya know the sad thing? The day I got kissed by a boy and lost my monies. D: My best friend thinks me getting run over is his fault because I poked him and ran across the street. I feel bad that he thinks that even though its not his fault. I can't believe he thinks that. The worst part of that is that I like him, and I mean "like him". GAH!!

Anyways, I am home now and focusing on healing and getting better with help from my awesome fanfictions and smarticalness (I am such a retard lol!). It will take a while longer though to put up another chapter but I promise, I give you my word, that I will progress this story to the end. Thanks to all who haven't yelled at me for this I love you all! -hugs-

Glomping you,

ENVY [drea

p.s. HAHA made you think this was another chapter of the story! Sorry I wanted a laugh. -haha- 


	5. Life or Death

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or it's characters... Oh and I am not a Orihime flamer, hater ect... It just turns out that way...

Chapter 4: Life or Death

"Oh my RENJI!" Rukia screamed sitting next to Ichigo crying. Ichigo cradled Renji in his arms sad for not knowing his true feelings for him or Orihime for that matter. It made him sick to his stomach to feel this way and when he did feel this way he became shame itself. "Ichigo come on we have got to take him to Unohana she could help him," Rukia pleaded to Ichigo. She shook him while he still held him. "Come on Ichigo!"

Ichigo sat there in shock and just held Renji in his arms, never wanting to let him go. Ichigo touched Renji's face and felt the warmth fading away slow. His hand danced around on Renji's cheek, and then around the tatoo's on his forehead. Quickly Ichigo snapped back to reality and stood up with Renji stuck in his arms. He kept refusing to let him go, but he will take him to Unohana to be treated.

"Come on Rukia, I am gonna take him to Unohana." Rukia understood and opened a portal to the Soul Society. Once in the soul society they ran to the medical center and let the masters do their work. Ichigo and Rukia sat down in the waiting area. Rukia sat across from Ichigo crying, hoping Renji would survive.

'_Why did he go? Why did he let himself get hurt?'_ Ichigo thought to himself. He felt tears rolling down his face._ 'I can't believe this! WHY!?'_ Ichigo broke down inside. Even though he denies loving Renji, he still cares about him and this ate at him, stronger than anything could.

Rukia looked at Ichigo and saddened, she couldn't stand to see Ichigo cry. She couldn't stand to see anyone cry. She got up and walked over to him. "Ichigo," She said offering a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We have to go back. Lets let them do what they need, they will call us in the human world when he is stable."

Ichigo looked at her through blurry eyes and hugged her. She embraced the melancholy shigami back knowing his pain, feeling what his pain. They stayed like that for a while until Ichigo felt somewhat better and let go. Ichigo stood up and wiped his face clean. Rukia got up and walked slowly out of the building, hoping Ichigo would follow. He watched her leave and he followed her. They walked down the pathways of the Soul Society then to home.

Once back in the Human world they kept a pace and walked all the way back to Ichigo's house. Both of them were covered in blood, Renji's blood. Ichigo couldn't dare look at himself because he didn't want to see it, Renji after all could be dead. They walked and walked all the way back to the Kurosaki house. When they got close, Rukia lept up to the ledge of his window and went in. Ichigo walked into the house still in his form. He walked up the stairs and opened the door to his room and saw Kon in his body on the floor knocked out.

"What the hell happened?" Ichigo asked Rukia, who just came out of the closet.

"He scared the shit out of me and I kinda beat him up." She said backing away slowly. He picked up the body and replaced Kon. After he was in he put Kon back in the plushie.

No other words were spoken between them, the only one who talked was Kon, But of course, no one paid attention to him. All Ichigo wanted to do was sleep, since tomorrow was Friday and the weekend is coming up he needed to go back to the Soul Society and see Renji. He needed to feel the relief of knowing if Renji was alive or dead. He remembered times he had spent with Renji, and that calmed him and helped him to sleep.

_**------------**_

"_Hey Renji," The strawberry ran towards the red headed shigami, "lets practice combat!" He said enthusiastically. The red head grinned an evil grin and agreed to help him practice. They stood in a vast empty lot and fought._

"_Your slow Kurosaki!" He screamed encouraging the strawberry to get ahead._

"_Whatever just fight red!" Ichigo screamed. Renji stormed at Ichigo with Zambimaru and attacked with all his might. Ichigo dodged and went back and launched a counter-attack. It wasn't supposed to be a direct hit but meaning to push him back to the wall. They repeated till they got close enough to the wall, Ichigo went straight and pinned Renji against the wall._

_Renji was taken back that he was pinned against the wall, Ichigo just grinned wildly. "What's the matter Renji?" His lips almost touching Renji's ears, "Looking a little nervous." He breathed, Renji's neck caught the breath and shivered uncontrollably._

'_Ichigo is such a flirt!' Renji thought to himself, he wanted to counter him and pin Ichigo to the wall and have his way, but he knew he had to control himself. He didn't want to ruin a great thing they had, even if it meant never having the love he knew he wanted to be with forever._

_He smirked. "Why you think you could beat me?" He pushed hard and sent Ichigo flying back to the ground with a loud crush. "Face it, only once in a thousand fights can you beat me!" Renji stood keeping a proud stance, letting his guard down._

_Ichigo took advantage of the opportunity and attacked Renji. "Shit!" Renji said as he saw Ichigo come with his attack. Ichigo pinned Renji once again but on the floor this time._

"_You know what Renji?" Ichigo leaned in on Renji. "I guess this would be that one in a thousand fights then, and every time after that." He leaned in closer and locked lips with Renji. Renji was shocked at first, he didn't expect Ichigo to do this but then he gave into the kiss. Ichigo loved it, he wanted this, he needed this kiss. And now he felt happy and secure, and for Renji to give in gave him hope._

_After a few minutes of spit swaping Renji parted with Ichigo, a line of spit still connected them. "Ichigo, I-I..." He stopped when he looked into Ichigo's honey eyes and got stamina, his true feeling for Ichigo emerged. "Ichigo, I love you."_

_Ichigo looked at Renji and smiled not an evil smile or grin, but a warm smile that any lover wants to see. "Renji I love you too!" He leaned in and kissed him again. Renji felt as though he was in heaven, he never thought he would hear Ichigo say those words to him._

_Until that horrid voice ran throughout his body and cracked his spirit. "Hey Ichigo are we still going on that date tonight?"_

_Ichigo looked up at the girl and smiled, "hell yeah!" he got up and turned to look at the shocked shigami on the floor."I lied, I love Orihime. Goodbye Renji." He said and ran to Orihime. He got to her and kissed her passionately, with intent to break Renji's heart. After she hung onto his arm and they trudged off to their date._

_Renji stood up and started crying. "WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH MY MIND YOU BASTARD!!" He screamed and slammed his fist on the ground. The ground started cracking all around him. He looked around and then fell through a newly formed hole in the ground and saw the light disappearing as he fell deeper into the dark._

_Orange hair, honey eyes_

_slender strong body I want to hold close to me_

_and stand between those thighs_

_in his heart is where I want to be_

_but he sends mixed messages and hurts my heart_

_to the point I fall into the black pit_

_I should have never told him from the start_

_because he can't to himself admit_

_the truth I seek lies within him_

_but I cannot reach it_

_Oh help me god of love_

_help him to realize the obvious truth_

_I send my plea above_

_help out the distressed youth_

_**------------**_

Renji awoke in the room, he looked around and realized where he was, then everything came back to him. The dream, the moments before he blacked out, everything. Tears started to pool in the corners of his eyes as those memories came back. Especially the dream, that was a weird dream. But in it had every emotion he felt through the time they spent together.

He heard faint steps outside get louder and louder from down the hall. Must be someone to change my bandages. He thought. The footsteps got louder and he anticipated who it was. Then the steps stopped completely.

Renji's eyes opened wide in hate at the person who entered. "What the hell are you doing here?" he said. He felt hatrd rise in him, if he could he jump up and kill that bitch that just walked in the room. After what she did he could never forgive her.

"Oh I'm here to change your bandages, Unohana asked me to and I did." Orihime said walking close to Renji. She pulled down the sheets and saw his tatoos and old bandages. Renji laid there and felt uncomfortable with her touching him, no matter if shes helping him or not. Every stroke of her hand on his skin made him want to punch her.

"Whats wrong Renji? You look a little tense." Orihime said with an evil grin, and continued to change his bandages. He turned his head to the side as if to say 'fuck you whore'. She glared eyeballs at him for being rude. She finished up her duties and started to leave. Renji felt relief as he heard her footsteps head towards the door.

'_Thank you bob this bitch is leaving' _Renji thought until he heard her stop right at the door. '_Fuck.._'

She opened the door and spoke words to Renji he will never forget and will never do in his life. "Renji, Stay away from my Ichigo or else." Then left, without hearing a reply from Renji. Renji heard what she said and grew furious at her.

"As long as I live and Ichigo is still here I will not leave him. I love him and not matter what threats she'll pull I vow to fight for Ichigo."

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone! I finished chapter 4 yay! Sorry it took forever! But my homeschool teacher is giving me hella homework. that sucks! Sorry this chapter is so short but next chapter may be longer. I don't know... 

Thanks for all your support on me getting better. I am healing really well, I am walking with crutches now and my doctor says its amazing that I can. Thank you all!

Don't forget to R&R!

Dre-chan


	6. Can You Tell Me Why?

_**Dear readers! :D**_

_**I am so sorry I haven't been updating lately... My dad has been being a complete dick to me and my mom, making her cry and making me feel like an idiot that can never amount to anything, or become something of value to society. Her and i have been plaining to move and I have been trying to keep my grades up so I can get into the school that I want to go to. I want to go to the high school where she went when she was in high school.**_

_**But, slowly I have been working on all my fanfictions,**_

_**Blood Love -temp title-**_

_**MBFCL **_

_**Denial**_

_**Two Souls, One Destiny**_

_**And a few new ones for Naruto and Death Note... And one for KH but its a celebrity twist one. It came to me one day at school, but I'll save that story cause it really isn't interesting, but the story plot is really good.**_

_**In all honesty, I didn't really want to continue my stories because I don't feel I am a very good story writer. I have low self esteem, so I haven't been writing that much lately. The reason why I kept going was because of all your guyses sweet reviews and my mom telling me "good job sweetie!"**_

_**Remember I love all my readers and Thank you for being understanding of me! C:**_

_**Oh yeah and my editor hasn't been on in a while for like 3 weeks, so if anyone would like to be my editor please send me a PM because I have bad spelling on some words and horrible punctuation. So if you would like to thankkies! **_

_**Okay so enough of my pathetic ramblings I must get ready for bed its around one in the morning here and I am borderlining insanity... **_

_**Anywho... have a great -insert time of day here-**_

**_Love,_**

_**Neardax Dre-chan (Chie lancerXpennae) what ever you know me as! **_


	7. Bitter Sweet

**Chpt. 5: Bitter Sweet**

Orihime returned to the human world and walked to her home where she planned to rest and invite Ichigo over. 'I am sure I love Kurosaki-kun,' She thought to herself walking down the desolate street, 'at least, I am sure of it.' She made it to her home and she stopped at her door and entered in. There was a light on in the bathroom. She payed no attention to it, it probably was Rukia anyway. Rukia always came over to take a shower. She took off her shoes and continued to the kitchen where she put water on the stove to make some chocolate tea.

"Inoue, is that you?" Yelled another female voice. It very sounded very well like Rukia's own voice.

"Yes Kuchiki-san." She replied getting out the tea, sugar, chocolate and cups.

She didn't pay attention or notice that Rukia had stepped out of the bathroom in a robe and stood there watching her with a plain look on her face. She leaned against a wall and folded her arms, staring at Orihime blankly. Orihime turned carrying the tea cups and sugar and saw Rukia standing there in nothing but a robe and blushed and looked away then started over to the table where she set down the drinks and herself. Rukia giggled and followed Orihime with her eyes, "Relax! I am in a robe."

Rukia soon followed and sat across from Orihime and drank the tea, adding lumps and stirring them in with her finger. Silence flew over them with an undying end. That is until Orihime spoke, "Where's Kurosaki-kun?"

Rukia looked at Orihime and then at her tea. "He is still in his room." She stirred in another lump, "He asked me to leave because he wanted to be alone. So I left and came here."

Orihime sighed an 'Oh' and sipped her tea. Rukia sipped her tea and then spoke once more. "Orihime," she looked at her dead on, "Do you love Ichigo? And I don't mean I guess or maybe," She set her cup down, "do you love him, or is it because Renji wanted and could have him because Ichigo liked the both of you but couldn't choose?"

Orihime looked at Rukia wide eyed and tears started to form on her eyes. "Of course I love Kurosaki-kun!" She grabbed the hem of her skirt and clenched hard. "I have always loved him, but as soon as Renji came in the picture, he always started acting different around him. Being near him all the time, I knew Ichigo had some feelings toward him." Rukia nodded and closed her eyes in a deep sigh.

"Would you do anything for him?"

Orihime lifted her eyes and met Rukia's, "Of course."

"Then you have noticed ever since you two had been together he has been depressed and then of course, the hallow that almost killed Renji, he emerged himself into a mental state of depression?" Orihime had streams of tears flowing from her face as Rukia spoke. "You know Ichigo doesn't truly love you, he believes he has to. He loves Renji, and if you truly love Ichigo like you say, let him be happy and be with Renji."

Orihime processed the words Rukia placed in her head, she wanted Ichigo to be happy, but she wanted her happiness too. Her eyes were shut tight in frustration and sadness on which was more important to her. Rukia's eyes looked out the window and then narrowed then looked back at Orihime and looked soft.

"Orihime, I didn't mean to make you cry," She maneuvered over to her side and gave her a hug. Orihime gave in and wrapped her arms around Rukia's chest and sobbed. They stayed like that for a while, and every now and again Rukia looked out the window.

Rukia pushed Orihime's face to look at her own. The girl opened her watery eyes and stared at Rukia. Rukia's eyes softened toward her and looked almost sorrowful. Rukia lifted the girls chin and leveled their faces.Rukia looked out the window one last time then placed a kiss on Orihime's mouth. Orihime felt no restraint to kiss Rukia, and proceeded to let her.

Moments later the door opens and there standing at the door was him. Orihime and Rukia spit and Orihime looked scared at Ichigo. Ichigo stared at them and said one word, "Thanks." He immediately turned and sprinted off to the one place where he can be happy and choose what he wanted.

Orihime tried to get up and go after him but was stopped by Rukia. She wrapped her arms around Orihime's waist and held her down. "No Inoue, let him go." She forced the girl back.

Orihime kept kicking and arms pushing Rukia's off her, "no, I don't... Ichigo...!!" Rukia held on to the girl until the girl grew tired and went limp. Her face and shirt were soaked and Rukia picked her up and carried her to her room and gently put her in her bed. She sat on the edge of the bed and gently tried to calm her down. She grabbed some tissues and wiped her face off as much as she could.

Rukia waited and let the tired Orihime fall into sleep then let her sort things out in the morning. Rukia looked out the window and smiled. 'Ichigo, will you be happy now? Can you forgive me for your unhappiness?' Rukia looked at Orihime and continued smiling, 'Cause if you don't forgive me, I don't think Orihime will.'

**-Earlier that day while Orihime was with Renji-**

Ichigo sat in his cramped room, still in shock about what happened the other day. He sat on his bed and just kept seeing the image of Renji in his arms depressed and about to die, covered in blood. 'The worst part of all this is he said me name before he went unconcious. Did he like me? Did this incident when he ran away from my school because he saw me and Orihime?' Then his eyes widened. 'I truly am a dumb ass, how could I not notice that Renji liked me more than he showed.' Ichigo slapped his hand on his head and cursed himself under his breath.

Ichigo was so depressed he had cut himself from it all. He held the razor in his hand and slid it from the top of his wrist, deep to the start of his arm. The deep red mixture poured out and he felt the release. He felt the unnatural high of his life falling out of him and he felt some-what better. He rested his head against the wall as blood started to soak his pants, and bed and he felt himself slipping into unconsciousness.

He looked up and saw a blurry figure look at him and frantically yelled at him and start to wrap his arm up. Ichigo was so out of it he didn't care anymore and finally entered into the brink of death. ''ICHIGO!''

Ichigo was sitting in an all white place, floating. hi didn't know what was up, down, left, right, he couldn't sense anything. 'Am I dead?' He said in his head. 'It doesn't seem like I am. I hope I am.' He looked at his hand and saw that there wasn't a scar from his cut.

He looked around and saw nothing but white.

"Ichigo!"

He looked around and saw no one, but the voice was so familiar.

"Ichigo, don't please!"

He closed his eyes and tried to determine who it was. But he couldn't. He lost all of his senses.

"Ichigo I am so sorry, I never meant for this to happen! I wanted your happiness!"

He felt himself being shaken in one spot and felt a hard pounding in his head. He opened his eyes and saw Rukia sitting at his bedside with her head pressing against his chest hard. She was shaking like crazy mumbling incoherently to herself. Ichigo looked at her and moved to comfort himself more. "I can't breath." He managed to get out.

Rukia lifted her head and looked at him through watery eyes and hugged him tightly. Ichigo coughed and pushed Rukia away before he died of lack of oxygen. "Ichigo I am so glad your alive!"

Ichigo smiled and giggled a little.

Before he knew it he felt a hand fly across his face and then his head throbbed along with his face. Rukia's face went from happy to an angry, sad face. "What was that for?"

Rukia cried as she spoke. "Ichigo you idiot! You almost died!" Rukia lightly pounded his chest and continued to yell at him. "You made me think this was my fault and mainly it was!"

Ichigo looked at Rukia and sighed, "Rukia," He said softly, "It's not your fault, it's mine." Rukia looked at him, "I didn't want my family to know my true self, even if I didn't know my true self. Deep in my mind I think I love Orihime."

"Baka!" She said, "Orihime doesn't love you really, she was just jealous of the fact you liked Renji and he liked you back! She wanted you to be with her, even if it caused you to do this to yourself." She said and looked at the floor. "It's my fault! I never should of told Orihime to go for it!"

Ichigo looked up at Rukia in confusion. "What?"

Rukia looked at Ichigo and felt a lump in her throat. She tried to swallow it, but it wouldn't budge. Ichigo waited for her reply, an explanation on what she had just said. After a while Rukia sighed, "I thought since you didn't go after Renji, I-I thought I could push Orihime to go out with you because you seemed so depressed. But then, Renji was planning to also. I didn't know what to do! So I just wanted to see how it would play out. I never think this would happen!" She slammed her face in the soft bed and pleaded for forgiveness. She held his hand and soaked the both of them.

Ichigo looked at Rukia. "So, Orihime doesn't love me?"

She looked at him and became even more melancholy. "No she doesn't, she was being selfish and didn't care about your feelings. She wanted what she wanted and didn't care if it hurt you in the process!"

Ichigo grew angry, "No, She wouldn't!"

"Yes, she would! She is an evil, emotionless bitch!"

Ichigo snapped and flew into sitting position and slapped her, "No she wouldn't! I know her!" Rukia clasped her hand on the red spot that formed on her face, surprised. "I think you better leave me alone."

Rukia stood up and walked to the door as her eyes filled with more tears. She paused at the door, "Ichigo, at least come over tonight to her house and you'll see, you'll see I was right. Then go to Renji."  
She finished her statement and then proceeded out the door.

Ichigo laid on the his bed and noticed his arm was covered in bandages and felt better. Someone healed his cut and bandaged him up. Probably one of the seats in squad four, most likely Hanataro. He laid in bed and thought about whether he should go and see out Rukia, or stay. He thought about it until he fell back asleep.

**-back to plot-**

Ichigo ran, and ran to Urahara's shop to get to The Soul Society and to see Renji. As soon as he got there he saw Urahara outside, like he knew Ichigo was coming there and waited for him. Ichigo ran until he was stopped by Urahara. "Ichigo," He didn't look at the man. "Is there anything you need?"

Ichigo stared at the door in silence still not looking at the man. He hid his arm and looked away. Urahara didn't budge and stayed patient, waiting for Ichigo to speak. "Do you need anything?"

Ichigo looked at Urahara, "I want to get to the Soul Society so I can talk to Renji." He spoke.

Urahara smiled as he felt Renji's reiatsu inside his home and neglected to tell Ichigo. He lowered his zanpakuto and stepped in front of the boy. "There's no need to."

Ichigo became furious, "Why the hell not?" He asked, then he heard a limping sound and the sound of something hitting the floor. He looked at the door and saw Renji standing there, hanging onto his zanpakuto and clutching the door. His hair was down, surrounding his face with his delicious red hair. Ichigo finally saw it, he stared at Renji hard and felt hot. Renji looked very sexy.

Renji looked up and smiled when he saw Ichigo. "Ichigo!" He let go of the door and tried to get closer to Ichigo when collapsed on the floor.

"Renji!" Ichigo non hesitantly ran to Renji helping him up.

When he got to Renji, Renji grabbed Ichigo and placed a kiss on him. Ichigo was surprised at first but then naturally wrapped his arms around the red head's head and buried his hands deep in his long, luscious hair. Renji held onto Ichigo and made the kiss deep, where it soothed the want in their souls. Urahara smiled and giggled underneath his breath where the boys couldn't hear him. No matter what they didn't care, nothing mattered now. Ichigo pulled away. As he looked at Renji his eyes swelled.

"I'm so sorry Renji!" He held Renji close to him, "I am such an idiot, your the one I love! I know it now deep in my heart!" He sobbed into the mans shoulder clutching at his clothes.

Renji put his hand behind Ichigos head and rested his cheek on the side of his head. "I know." He spoke softly, "I forgive you Ichigo!" He managed to cough out.

"I hate to break up this love fest," Urahara spoke, "But, Renji is severely injured, he needs rest so both of you, come in and rest." The older man moved and picked up Renji and took him in the house. Ichigo got up and followed them into the cozy house and closed the door behind them. Urahara exited one of the rooms and sat down at the table and sipped some tea inside a cup. Ichigo sat down and rested his head on his hand. He still couldn't believe that he and Renji kissed. Even though others wouldn't approve of that, to him, it felt okay. No, more than okay, it was great, awesome! Words can't really describe how he felt at that moment. Except he didn't feel so depressed anymore.

The image of Renji with his hair down popped in his head and he loved it. The man looked absolutely scrumptious like that and he just wanted to eat him up. He stared at the door and waited, thought about what to do. Stay outside or go inside.

Urahara sipped the tea and then poured some more. He watched Ichigo silently, trying to predict what the boy was thinking at that moment. If anything, he was thinking if he should go in there or not.

"Go inside and lay with him."

Ichigo looked at Urahara and scrunched his face. "Will you get out of my mind, I barely even like me being in there!" He said in protest.

Urahara laughed and sipped his tea. "I can't, I am in everyones mind, either as a haunting or a dream." He grabbed some cookies and took a bite leaving crumbs on the edges of his mouth. "But mostly in peoples dreams." He said and took another drink of tea.

Ichigo laughed and got up. He walked up to the door and took in a deep breath. He looked at Urahara and saw him nod a 'go ahead in' and he opened the door. Renji sat up with his shirt off, his hair down and underneath a blanket. Ichigo couldn't help but soak in the sexiness placed in front of him and felt himself wanting Renji to dive into him.

Renji smiled when he saw Ichigo enter. Ichigo walked over to Renji and got underneath the covers with him and locked them both into another passionate kiss. It was more naughty as it happened. In someone elses house, using someone elses things, it was so wrong and yet, they couldn't help themselves.

Ichigo ran his hand deep into Renji's hair and let the mans tongue explore his hot moist cavern. Renji's hands moved up underneath the strawberry's shirt pinching his nipples. Ichigo let a moan slip from deep in his throat and the man felt hot in his pants. He wanted to bury his cock into the boys ass. He continued pinching the boys nipples making Ichigo moan and gasp.

Their tongues clashed in the caverns lust filled them both and their erections. Ichigo's erection burned in his pants. Renjis hand traveled from his nipple to the outside of Ichigo's throbbing dick.

He grinned and pushed Ichigo down with a mighty thrust and climbed on top of him. Ichigo wasn't surprised, he wanted this as much as Renji did. He looked at Renji. "Are you sure this is okay?"

Renji stared to Ichigo in hunger and nodded. He has wanted this since he met the boy. He wanted to pleasure the boy in any way imaginable. Ichigo smiled and moved some of the loose strands of hair that was in Renji's face and pulled him into another passionate kiss. He pulled away and leaned back. The only thought in Ichigo's mind was to taste the sweet taste of Renji Abarai and loose himself as he blended with Renji.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

_**A****/N:** Did everyone enjoy the preview to maybe one of the most delicious scenes I may actually type? Sorry to cut you off here, but I wanna save the most juicy part for later. I mean I am really tired! Oh and I have been working also on my Naruto fic... its an UCHIHACEST one! :D look forward to it after I finish Denial and My Burning Flame Called Love. Well, until next time you will see a great yaoi! TTFN!_

_-Drea_


	8. Deliciously Desirable

**Chpt. 6: Deliciously Desirable**

When Ichigo woke up this morning, he never expected this to happen to him. He found himself drowning when his lips touched those he secretly longed for. The weight of the bigger man pressed Ichigo's chest, but it didn't stop him from getting the desirable pleasure he deserved. They locked lips and Ichigos jaw relaxed and let Renji's tongue invade his mouth. Letting him explore the cavern.

He broke the kiss to take off his shirt. He threw it to the side and Renji attacked the boy's neck which alluded Ichigo to make a groan deep in his throat. His hands clutched the back of the mans shirt. Ichigo tilted his head back and allowed him more room to roam his body. Renji moved down to Ichigo's collar bone where he nipped and pricked moving his calloused hands to his nipples, twisting and rolling that hot tongue across his cold flesh.

The boy growled low and closed his eyes. Renji's body settled between his legs and gently touched Ichigos dick repeatedly which twitched each time. Renji heard the boy's groan and made his cock grow hard. They broke the kiss as Renji ridded himself of his shirt. As soon as he was free of the fabric he looked at Ichigo and loved what he saw. He dreamt many nights of this, but no dream could compare to the reality of his sweet ass.

Renji took to one of his nipples and licked and nipped at it making it hard. With each bite came a little pain which stimulated the boy. Renji looked up at Ichigo without breaking contact and went lower, licking his beautifully sculpted abs, watching the expression on Ichigo's face. Ichigo couldn't bear this torture, he need to feel Renji deep inside him, he needed the relief.

The man proceeded to the hem of Ichigo's black jeans and unbuttoned them, releasing the engorged member from its prison. Precum leaked and soaked the front of his pants. Renji went down and licked the head of his pulsing cock and licked it off. The contact made Ichigo let out a sexy moan that drove Renji crazy. He wanted the boy to say his name, and fuck him good.

Ichigo allowed his hips to lift, pleading for Renji to suck him. Ichigo looked at the man with a sexy hurry look. The man looked at those begging honey eyes and smiled. Without any hesitation obliged to him, he opened his mouth and took him full. Renji's cock twitched in anticipation of the thought of him taking Ichigo. He sucked and rolled his tongue along the huge vein while fondling his balls with the other hand.

A muffled moan escaped the boys lips as he grabbed the mans head and held it there. His hand squeezed and pulled some of Renji's hair. The rough hands moved away from his balls and traced his entrance to his ass. Ichigo arched his back as Renji pleasured the boy.

"I'm gonna..." He said. His heart beat had fastened its pace and beat hard. Renji pumped his hand along with his mouth up and down his member getting him to cum. "Renji!" Ichigo tried hard to keep quiet as he felt his orgasm spreaded throughout his body as he released.

All of it landed on the mans chest and face and he licked all of it up and swallowed.

Renji pulled the jeans all the way off and casted them aside. He undid his pants and freed his straining cock from its confinement. Ichigo was surprised from the size of him and gulped. "Can that fit inside me?"

"Yeah," He said and flipped the boy onto his stomach, "but it will hurt." Ichigo gulped once more and closed his eyes.

The man inserted one of his digits into the boy's heat. He flinched as he felt Ichigo tense around it. After he calmed a little he inserted another and scissored to stretch his hole. Ichigo gasped when Renji's finger prodded his spot. The man couldn't take it any more, his dick was pulsing hard with anticipation of being swallowed into the boy's deep heat.

He removed his fingers and placed himself steady at his entrance and pressed in. A scream snuck out of Ichigo's mouth as he felt Renji in him. The muscles tightened around his hard dick, and he started panting immediately. Ichigo leaned his head back to the point where Renji could kiss him. He locked them both in a tight hot kiss and pushed further inside the boy. Tears escaped from the boys eyes.

Renji pause there, he didn't want to continue without Ichigo's permission. He broke the kiss and held he boys hips in his hands. Unexpectedly, Ichigo backed up on Renji the rest of the way and moaned loud. Renji pulled out and back into the boy with a slow pace. Ichigo titled his head back and gripped the pillow on the floor hard, turning his knuckles red.

Ichigo's face went from pain to pleasure in a matter of minutes. "THERE!" He gasped when Renji had hit his prostate. He continued hitting that spot in a slow and steady pace.

The man felt it build up in the pit of his stomach as he started to come to his conclusion. "Harder!" Ichigo said, "FASTER!"

He sped up his pace and his breathing grew heavier. He wanted to look at Ichigos face when he released so he pulled out of the strawberry and turned him on his back. He looked at the sexed up body that laid before him and he spreaded those long lean legs. He entered the boy again with a hard thrust that made them both moan louder. A light layer of sweat formed on their faces. A few sweat drops fell down Renji's face as he pounded hard into Ichigo.

The boys member started to harden as Renji hit his over and over again. Renji was coming close to his release and so was Ichigo again. They both were panting and breathing hard. Renji stared at Ichigo and marveled at how beautiful he looked right now. He knew he fell in love with the cuteness he saw when they sparred and when they just sat and talked, but this was a side he never saw before. No matter what he wanted to be the only one who could see him like this. No one else deserved to have Ichigo or have him do anything to them, Ichigo was his.

Ichigo, on the other hand, felt extremely happy that this was happening. There were no words he could say to make this moment any more special than it already was.

Renji noticed Ichigo getting hard with each thrust into his prostate. "Ichigo, touch yourself for me.." He breathed. Ichigo lifted his hand and pumped his erection with the pace and speed of Renji's thrusts. He moaned loudly, enough for Urahara and whoever else was in the house to hear the act them two are doing.

"Ichigo!" Renji's body pulsated as he released into Ichigos ass.

"Renji!" Ichigo screamed as he released on his chest. Renji kneeled over and licked it all up before collapsing beside him.

Renji looked at Ichigo and wrapped his arms around him. And cuddled him there. Ichigo leaned his head against Renji's chest. They both were sticky, sweaty and nude, but nonetheless they felt better. Like a heavy thing just lifted off both of their chests. Ichigo felt raw and pain, and Renji felt tired and weak.

"Renji?"

"Hmmm?"

"I-I love y-you..."

Renji smiled, "I love you too."

They laid there expecting that they'd fall asleep and wake up tomorrow before anyone else finds out what they did that night, but, little did they know, Urahara, Jinta, and Ururu were listening on the other side and gaped into space on what they had just heard.

"EWW! Freeloader and strawberry just-" Ururu covered his mouth and placed her finger over her mouth in a shh motion.

Jinta stayed quiet and they both turned to Urahara and became surprised at what they found. Urahara had his ear pressed against the wall, with a

nosebleed and drooling. Jinta and Ururu slowly backed away from him in case of any brain implosion that may or may not occur.

**--**

_**A/N:** Hey thar! Yeah I posted another chapter.. just in case ya know? Sorry that I didn't get that much in there and it wasn't very insightful, if you will... but at least you gots another one! Thar has been an issue occuring before me, after this, should I continue it or just leave it to where he over comes his denial? Please review and give me your opinions. It would help a lot in the future outcome of this story. Arigato!_

_-Dre-chan_


	9. What IS?

_Hello again! Okay I just have a few things to say,_

_First off if you want to know about the other stories I am writing, take a look at my journal on deviantart. I posted it and it will be there. Plus stories I haven't mentioned on here. They all will be there! : D_

Okay, thats all I wanted to say. Besides that I am typing up he chapters to these stories. I can't say when they'll be put up, but they will be! I promise!!

Please, after you read my journal, send me your thoughts. On a note on dA, a PM here, or an email. ( Email provided on journal )

Thank you!

-Drea


	10. The New Love, End of A Story

_Do You think this is the end?_

_its too soon all over._

_Our scars will mend._

_I swear to you_

_this is only the beginning_

_of something true_

_my love for you._

_-lancer pennae_

_**Chpt. 7: The Beginning Of A New Love The End Of A Story**_

The next morning Ichigo woke up and found Renji curled up next to him. He slowly started to get up without waking Renji. He successfully untangled himself from the red head and put on some clothes. The pain from last night caught up with him and he felt his ass hurt. But he ignored the pain. He couldn't allow Renji who was hurt to take of him now could he?

He carefully stood and walked to the door. Before he opened it he bucked up and delt with the pain. He didn't want everyone to know what they had done finally after all this time of denying it. When it did happen, a feeling of calm and serenity flew over his worry and stress. And boy, did it feel better than anything in the world.

He opened the sliding door and saw Urahara and everyone else sitting at the table, eating some breakfast and chatting. When he stepped out, it went silent and everyone at the table looked at Ichigo with a glare he couldn't seem to understand what it was.

The silence seemed like a mixture of anger, and embarrassment. Being the oblivious guy he was, he didn't know why they looked at him that way, but ignored it and shoved it off his shoulder. He put on his cool face and acted like nothing happened. Nothing was suspicious around here, nothing was abnormal or weird, it was just another day of Hollow disaster

He maneuvered to the table and fixed Renji and himself a bowel of food. He ignored everyone, as everyone finally ignored him but snickered silently to themselves. He gathered the bowels and set them on a bed tray. After he had piled on some food and started to leave, he took one last glance and saw Urahara smiling and everyone else smiling or giggling.

Ichigo thought nothing of they're reactions, besides CRAZY, and walked back into the room really confused. He closed the door with his foot and he looked at the floor and saw Renji sitting up like he had been waiting for him the whole time he was gone. Renji looked at Ichigo and smiled lovingly. Ichigo couldn't help this warm feeling from building up inside him and smiled back. The sensation was overwhelming, like he was in a dream. And seeing Renji smile with so much passion in his look, made him feel so special. Like nothing else mattered besides him.

The strawberry trotted over to the red-head and set down their breakfast. Renji had smiled as Ichigo had sat down and started serving him. Ichigo was in his own world while Renji stared at him. Ichigo handed Renji his bowel, he took it and had their hands touched. Ichigo blushed as he quickly pulled his hand back . He served himself and grabbed his chopsticks.

They started eating in a relaxing silence. This feeling, love, calmness, it all seemed so appealing. Something everyone wants, and most people have. The strawberry didn't care if he was labeled as gay, or if he was made fun of for it.

As long as he had Renji, and Renji had him, nothing else really matters. Renji felt the same too. He finally had his dream come true. His love came to him, and now he can be at ease.

After the boys finished their meal, Ichigo started to clean up a bit. He put the dished on the tray and set it a side. His back was turned to Renji and he was about to stand when he felt a strong arm creep around his waist and pull his down.

The strawberry's eyes widened a bit as he fell into the red head's lap. He leaned his head back and stared into the eyes of Renji. Renji had a smile and leaned down and pulled into a deep passionate kiss.

Which made the strawberry blush as he kissed back.

After a few minutes Renji let go of Ichigo and whispered into Ichigo's ear, "Thank you."

He looked at him and smiled sweetly, "Your welcome." Then proceeded to take the dishes into the kitchen. He opened the sliding door and found Urahara standing there.

The man had a malevolent smile on his face hidden by the fan he carried. "So you done with breakfast?"

Ichigo nodded and moved around the man and went into the kitchen to deliver the dirtied utencils. As he walked back he passed a clock which read 12:12PM.

"OH SHIT!" He walked back quickly and saw Urahara changing Renji's dressings. Renji's face had a little bit of pain in it, but all seemed well. The scars were healed, but he still had a few broken ribs.

When he saw Ichigo at the door he smiled. Ichigo walked in and sat next to Renji. "Hey."

"Hey." He replied.

"I am going to go home now." Ichigo smiled, "But, I'll be back, alright?"

Renji frowned a bit. "Alright. I'll see you later."

By this time Urahara knew it was time to look like he wasn't looking or paying attention so Renji could give Ichigo a goodbye kiss. He turned around and acted like he was searching for something in a drawer.

Renji lifted his hand and grabbed Ichigo's chin and planted another kiss on him. A blush formed on Ichigo's face as if saying "What the Hell?" Which in turn made Renji laugh when they broke the kiss.

Ichigo stepped out side and started on his walk home. He passed a few friends on his way back, then he saw Orihime. Her eyes looked red and sad. Ichigo didn't know what to do. He couldn't decide if he should go talk about last night, or if he should hide before she saw him.

He decided to hide, but before he could she say him and ran to him fast. She stopped a few inches in front of him and stared into his eyes.

When he opened his mouth to talk, Orihime leaped on him and gave him a hug. Ichigo at first was surprised but then gave her back a hug.

"I-Ichigo, I'm so sorry!" She wept into his shirt.

"Orihi- "

"No! I love you! I won't kiss anyone else! I love you and I don't want to let you go!" She hugged him tight.

He sighed and let her go. "Orhime, I-" She looked up at him and the face she gave him made him not want to say it, but he had to. "Orihime, I don't love you."

She let him go and tears started to form in her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry for leading you on like that, but I realize now, I don't love you like I thought I did." She stepped back one step in shock.

"I-I don't... But why?"

"I love Renji, I know now he is the one I love. I love you too, just not as my girlfriend. You more like my sister Orihime."

The girl cried and fell on her knees. Her buried her face in her palms and bawled. Ichigo bent down next to her and gave her a hug. That's the only thing he could truthfully.

"I-I'm sorry Orihime. Please, understand."

Through teary eyes the girl looked at him. Her eyes pleaded for him to be with her, although she'd be happy, she finally realized, he was never going to be with her like that again. He wasn't going to be her man. That frightened her so much. She wanted to punch something, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs for hours. Now, the reason she hated Renji deepened. Because he stole Ichigo from her.

"I-I understand Ichigo. R-Really.. I do.." She sniffed and wiped her, already red, eyes on her sleeve. "I-I am j-just, happy that... Renji and you are happy."

Ichigo smiled and gave her another giant hug. "I'm glad to hear. We are still friends right?"

Orihime hugged him back and smiled. "Yeah, we can be friends still."

Ichigo felt happy in his heart. He knew that this is how is should be, and now that it is like this, it should stay this way. Just friends.

But Orihime had other plans. Oh yes.

After hugging, they both stood up and started walking. Orihime latched onto Ichigo and smiled. He thought nothing of it and proceeded to keep walking to her house, assuming that's where she was going.

They stopped at her house, embraced once more and she went inside and Ichigo went to his home.He stepped through the door and looked around. No one was there. He walked up the stair case and stopped at his room when he felt a familiar presence.

He opened his door and turned on the light. His eyes widened to see someone sitting on his bed.

"Hey you."

Ichigo looked happy and ran over to the figure and hugged him. "RENJI!"

Reji giggled and hugged him back. After a few minutes they broke the hug and Ichigo sat next to Renji on the bed. "What are you doing here?"

"I got lonely, and I wanted to see you once more."

A pink blush ran across Ichigo's cheeks like an Olympic Runner and he looked to the side. "It's only been 2 hours..."

Renji chuckled, "I know, it's just. We only just became a couple. I don't want to be away from you."

Ichigo's blush got deeper, "That's so embarrassing Renji.." Ichigo mummbled.

Renji hugged around the strawberry's shoulders and whispered, "I want to give you something I've been saving for a while."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box. The red head became so nervous as he did this, and Ichigo's eyes grew wide. "What is...?"

"Ichigo, I have been saving this since I met you." He opened the box slowly to show a promise ring.

The strawberry turned red at what he saw. "Th-that's a-"

Renji nodded, "Yes, I believe itl's called a 'Promise Ring'. I saw it on a show on TV." Renji took it out. "Do you accept it?"

The boy couldn't help tears form in his eyes. He took the ring and looked at it. He thought it over and looked at Renji. "Y-yes. I accept this."

He slid the golden ring on his finger and held Renji's hand. Renji's expression was that of happiness. He held Ichigo's hand back and felt happiness fill his whole body. A wave of relief flew through him.

Renji's rib started to hurt, so Ichigo laid him down on his bed. After he settled Renji in, he got up when he felt Renji grab his hand and pull him back a bit.

"Don't go. Lay with me."

Ichigo stared at the red heads pouty face and couldn't help giving in. He lifted the blanket and laid his head on Renji's arm and cuddled his side. Renji wrapped his arm around the strawberry's shoulders and let a smile slide on his face.

They laid there, for a long while. In a loving, peaceful silence. Until it got dark. It just goes to show you, never take love for granted, never think love in anyway shape or form is a sin, and don't care what people say. If you love someone, be with them. Even if you get laughed at or mocked. Know that they are only stupid if they do. 'Cause love comes in all shapes and forms.

_**THE END.**_

**A/N: ****Hey guys, I'm not dead. Yes sadly this is the last chapter. No I am not satisfied with it. But, the moral was good, yeah? Well, my first completed long FF. I will start another Bleach fanfiction. It may be RenByakuya... **

**R&R please.. Renji will give you crack cookies! XD He made them himself.**


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